eCommerce Made Easy - Growing your Online Business

How to Align Your Business Strategies with Inner Work for Greater Fulfillment with Ryann Dowdy

• Carrie Saunders • Episode 66

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Have you ever felt that nagging sense of burnout and wondered if it's a sign you need a big change? Join us on this transformative episode of E-Commerce Made Easy, where we sit down with Ryann Dowdy, the Chief Activator and Lead Consultant at Soul Charge. Ryann opens up about her own journey from sales and marketing to peak performance coaching, sharing how feelings of resistance and apathy led her to reevaluate her career path. Learn from her story about the importance of aligning your business strategies with your inner work and how tuning into your emotions can be the key to a more fulfilling career.


Connect with Ryann Dowdy on Social Media
--> Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanndowdyofficial/
--> YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RyannDowdy
--> TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryanndowdyofficial
--> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryanndowdyofficial/
--> LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanndowdy/

Learn more about Soul Charge
--> https://soulcharge.com/go


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Speaker 1:

Today we have an exciting episode for you. We are talking to Ryan Dowdy, who is the Chief Activator and Lead Consultant at SoulCharge. She is going to help you really review your business, review your mindset and help you be more confident in decision making with your business. This episode is packed with great business and mindset tips, so be ready to listen to some inspiring tips from Ryan. Welcome to the e-commerce made easy podcast.

Speaker 1:

I'm your host, keri Saunders. When we started this business, all I had was a couch, a laptop and a nine-month-old. My main goal To help others. Now, with over 20 years in the e-commerce building industry and even more than that in web development, I have seen a lot. I love breaking down the hard tech into easily understandable bits to help others be successful in their online business. Whether you're a seasoned e-commerce veteran or just starting out, you've come to the right place. So sit back, relax and let's dive into the world of e-commerce together. Welcome back to the E-Commerce Made Easy podcast.

Speaker 1:

Today we have a special guest with us. Her name is Ryan Dowdy. She is the chief activator and lead consultant at Soul Charge. So before we get started with our questions with Ryan, I'm going to read her bio so I get it right, because I don't have it memorized like she might have, so let's get into that, all right. So, as a peak performance coach and mentor, her work is rooted in alignment and energy.

Speaker 1:

In a world, we're taught that if we want more, we have to do more, but Ryan loves to flip the script. There is no question that you can accomplish anything you desire in life, but it has to start with inner work first. Her approach to intentional reality creation starts with you before developing a plan around the tactics and strategies that will help you hit your goals. She believes the most powerful strategy in the world is the one that feels most aligned with you. Ryan knows that when we're in alignment with our purpose and values, our actions become effortless and powerful. Ryan's unique approach is to help entrepreneurs and business owners align their thoughts, beliefs and actions with their goals. Since 2005, brian has sat in front of hundreds of business owners developing marketing plans and has taught thousands of sales reps, business owners and entrepreneurs how to sell. Her unique approach combines mindset, energy, alignment, self-talk and a heavy focus on the power of relationships. She's grown several multiple seven-figure businesses of her own and is now she is helping others do the same. So welcome, ryan, to our podcast.

Speaker 2:

Hi, keri, I'm excited to be here. Thanks so much.

Speaker 1:

You're so very welcome. I really enjoyed it. I was actually just a little side note. I'm on Ryan's podcast coming up soon and it's been great to get to know her the past few months. We've connected through some other mutual business friends, so it's been really great to get to know Ryan over these next few, these past few months, all right, so first we're going to talk about a lot about making change in your business, because that's something you've just recently done, isn't that right, ryan?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I am mid pivot like even hearing you read that bio and I'm like huh, that's interesting, is that?

Speaker 1:

who I am these days. That's great. So then, how did you know when it was time to make a change in your business? Because I know a lot of our business owners listening. You know times change as we go along. I've been in the business for over 20 years and we've had to make some pivots as we've gone along, so how do you know when it's time to make a change in your business?

Speaker 2:

I love this question because there's not one size fits all but for most people. So my pivot, specifically sales and marketing, was my jam for a very long time. I still very much love sales and marketing and I've really pivoted into the peak performance role and really focusing on the mindset and the energetics and the alignment piece and of course we wind up getting into sales and marketing. But the way that I knew that it was really time to make a change is there was a couple of things. One it was just the way I felt around what I was offering, right Like when there is resistance to making offers, to selling, to getting on sales calls, to creating marketing assets, to brainstorming ideas, right Like when you're starting to feel that resistance, to me that's always an opportunity to kind of reflect, like where is this resistance coming from? And sometimes the resistance has nothing to do with changing your business. But what I was finding for myself personally was like I wasn't excited about my offers and that's not something that had ever happened to me before, you know. Or I would look at my calendar and there would be a lot of calls on my calendar that I was like I don't really want to talk about this stuff, you know, and I was just really again starting to experience some burnout on just the sales and marketing side of things, because to me most sales and marketing problems are actually stemmed in the mindset, energetic and identity side of things. But I didn't, I didn't know that, I didn't have those words before, so for me it was really just a feeling of how do you feel going into meetings, how do you feel selling your offers, how do you feel like talking to your team about the things going on in your business, and if you're experiencing a lot of resistance, for me it was apathy, it was frustration, it was everything just felt really heavy. And to me that's usually an opportunity to really look at what's going on here. You know, there's usually a purpose, a reason when we don't feel truly aligned with something and, like I said, not everything is like, you know, throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Speaker 2:

But for me it was just something that, week after week, carrie, I just started to feel this kind of heavy energy around the work that I was doing. That was different than it was previously. So it wasn't like, oh, I launched something new and it felt heavy. It was like something that once felt light and easy and fun, started to feel heavy and to me, that was really the indicator that like, oh, we really need to dig in a little bit deeper and look into, you know, is this a change that needs to be made in the offer and the business?

Speaker 2:

I mean, obviously there's a million different ways to go, but those are some of the indicators that have shown up. For me and a lot of my clients, I feel like we're in like a re-season of pivots, right. Like 2020 was obviously a big pivot year for a lot of us and I feel like we're up for it again and I'm seeing a lot of pivoting right now, and it's just a really prevalent question of how do I know that I'm not just, you know, bored or something like that. But for me, it was like I could cancel all of these meetings this week and be completely content with that. Like that's usually an indicator that something needs to change.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I can totally relate with that and that's a really great way to put it of feeling heavy and I bet you felt a lot of relief when you made that decision to lift that heaviness, the things that weren't really aligned anymore, because I've done that a few times in our businesses. It's such a relief when you make that decision of it's okay if I don't continue down this path and do it this exact way anymore. Yeah, I think that's a really great way to put it, to really kind of make it tangible and really think about you know what is really heavy in my life especially around business Totally.

Speaker 1:

All right. So then, how do you deal with the stories and the drama in your brain when making changes? Because I know I go through this and I've been going through this the past few years, because I've been working to pivot for about five years now and, oh my goodness, there's so many stories and drama in my head and, oh, can you do this again? You've already built your business once, can you rebuild it again? And like there's just so many things going on in my head. So how do you deal with those?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so for me it's understanding, like fact versus fiction, right? So many of the stories that we tell ourselves are just that stories they're made up, right? So for a lot of people, it's the idea and I think this very much comes from age and how you grow up. But, like I, was still of the generation where, like you pick a career when you're 18 and you do it until you die, right, like you retire with your Rolex from the same company you've worked at for 40 years, and I know that that has changed dramatically over the past probably 15, 20 years. But I started my career 20 plus years ago and so that was the intention, right, that you pick this thing and you do it forever.

Speaker 2:

And so every single time in my life, carrie, that I've made a change there's been so much stories about people are going to see me as inconsistent, they're going to see me as flaky, they're going to see me as flighty. People aren't going to trust me. You know all the stuff that comes up for us and for me, it really comes down to making a list of all of those things and then asking yourself is it true, right? Are people going to think I'm flighty because I'm making a change in my business? Maybe, but do you know like? Do you really like? Again, so much of it is just made up fear, not actual facts. You know, am I going to appear inconsistent if I make changes? Maybe, but you know, can I serve more people? Does this help me in a better way? And, most of the times, what we'll find if we really start to journal through it and I don't care if you write it down or type it out on your phone or record it in a voice memo, but really ask yourself what is actually going on in your head, because oftentimes, once we get it out of our head and start to really evaluate it, we will learn that most of it is false.

Speaker 2:

Right, most of it is not rooted in truth and fact. It's, you know, rooted in that, that drama and those stories that we have made up because of programming, because of stories, because of the narrative that we were given, and especially in business. You know, I play a lot in the online space and it's, you know. Pick one offer and make that one offer profitable, and I've come across people that are so miserable in that one offer but they're so terrified to make a change because you know what will happen if ABC XYZ and, again, if we get to the root of it. For so many people it is just a very irrational fear. It's a story. It's not rooted in fact, and that's to me the biggest difference. You know what's.

Speaker 2:

What part of the story is actually factual, and for most of us it's very, very, very little is actually rooted in fact. So for me, that's the number one thing I'm looking at is the feelings that I'm having, the stories that I'm telling myself, the scenarios that are running through my head. Are they actually factual, truthful things, or are they things I am afraid of happening? And for me it's almost always. 95% of it is stuff that I am afraid of happening or I have been told will happen or have seen happen to somebody else, that are not actually factual, rooted, 100% things to happen. And that helps me pull apart those stories and be like, okay, where does this come from and is there some truth in this and how could I mitigate this and how could I move through this. And so I just really kind of look at it very, very curious instead of judgmental, right, like I'm really curious where the story is that people are going to think I'm flighty If and I mean again I can tell you the story Like my mother told me when I was very young.

Speaker 2:

I remember I got my first job out of college. I worked there for like three years and I wanted to make a change and I remember my mom telling me you know, I'm what this time, 22, 23, 24 years old, and my mom's like well, if you switch jobs too much, people are going to think you're flatty and they're going to think you're not dependable and they're not going to want to hire you, right, so but that's her story, and that was not true. Every job change I ever made, every business change I ever made, has yielded in more money, more opportunity, more visibility. But that was her story, and so I had to see that like, oh yeah, that's not my story, that's a generational story, and really being able to pull that apart kind of allows you to park a lot of those thoughts and move forward in whatever direction you want to.

Speaker 1:

I love how you say to be curious about it too. I think that's a really good way to frame it, because we can be so judgmental, self-judgmental of ourselves and to be more curious as to why am I like this? And you're so true, many of it can stem even earlier in childhood, even as young as four or five years old, and certainly into our college years too, as our memories get a little bit more formed, and certainly into our college years too, as our memories get a little bit more formed. But no, I think, being curious and really looking back is there something in our childhood.

Speaker 1:

Because I know, with me and resistance of change, I had a lot of childhood trauma. Things could have been way worse, but I can totally relate because, like that, childhood trauma does make me question some things and question decisions and question whether whether I'm good enough or worthy enough or things like that. So I love the curiosity thought process that you're doing there, because that really that really kind of makes it easier and softer to really kind of dig into. And less judgmental I really like that. That's a really good tip, thank you. And less judgmental I really like that. That's a really good tip, thank you. So when? Why do you think most people resist change even though they want to make one Cause? I know I do this sometimes and I know for me is sometimes perfectionism that really gets in my way. But why do you think most people resist change even when they know they want to make that?

Speaker 2:

This is actually. I think there's a couple of things that happen. One is like the actual brain-based, factual things that happens. Carrie, our brain is wired to keep us safe. Its job is to keep us safe, not to make us happy, not to make us comfortable, not to find joy and chase our passion or any of those things. Our brain's job is to keep us safe.

Speaker 2:

So when we want to do something different and make a change, that resistance is actually like it's biology right, like it is a brain-based reaction to know because, again and this goes all the way back to caveman days you know, when we do something different, we run the risk of, you know, getting killed by a bear or chased by a tiger, and obviously we're not doing that anymore, but that's what our body is wired for. So I think the first thing that happens in our head is we get that fear comes up of all the things that could go wrong. And most of the time, again, those are very brain-based things where the brain's like, even though that place over there, we think it's going to be better and more fun and bring us more joy and more fulfillment, our brain's like, yeah, but even though we're not super happy over here. We're not dead, you know, like we can eat and we can breathe. And so I think when we realize too that a lot of the resistance that comes up for us, carrie, is not ours, like it's not ours personally, it is just that biology that's running through our bodies, our bodies and our brains are so flipping smart, and so when we can detach from it like that's not me, that is my brain keeping me safe, that is my biology, that is the brain that tells my heart to beat and my lungs to breathe and the blood to go through my veins is the same brain that is telling me that change is scary. And so I think that's kind of the first thing is that resistance to change that is just coming really naturally and biologically and physiologically through our bodies. And again, when we can detach from that, when we can see it for what it is and kind of put it outside of us a little bit, then it makes it easier to move forward.

Speaker 2:

But I think another thing that happens is this you know, we are again tribal beings, you know, and when we make change and we do things differently, we run the risk of leaving people behind. We run the risk of upsetting people, disappointing people, letting people down right. When you make changes in your business, sometimes there's clients you have to let go, sometimes there's team members that have to be let go. Sometimes, you know, there's a lot of expectation. At least that I see in the high achievers I work with is that there's so many people depending on me to stay here and if I make this change, then all of those people depending on me are going to be upset.

Speaker 2:

And again, very physiological, very unconscious and involuntary is this thing, this fear of like not belonging. You know I'm going to get ousted from the tribe if I don't. You know, stay in line. And again, that was sudden death. If you got ousted from the tribe in caveman days, it's pretty sure you were going to die, because that's how they stay alive. Right Was by staying together and working together as a team.

Speaker 2:

And so, again, when we realize that it's our body's wiring and there's not something wrong with us, because when I didn't know it was my body's wiring and I just thought I couldn't, I thought I didn't have any willpower, I thought it wasn't strong enough, I thought there was something wrong with me and it was like no, this is just the way that my brain and my body is wired to keep me safe. And so again, it goes back to this curiosity of I wonder what you know what these fears are. And then, like I said, it typically will come up that I'm afraid of letting people down and I'm afraid of, you know, fear of judgment right, whether it's judgment from ourself or judgment from other people. And then again that same exercise that we talked about before is is this true, is this factual, or are these just stories that I am telling myself? And again we can start to realize that so much of our resistance to change is coming from a story that's not actually true and, to your point earlier, not even ours. We can see that, oh okay, that's just what's happening here, and then we can start to take action from that place. But I think it's for me, it was really truly on my journey understanding that it wasn't because me, my soul, my spirit, wasn't capable of making change or doing something different, but rather this was just a physiological thing happening in my body as my brain's attempt to keep me safe. That really helped me be able to again separate from it what I say a lot.

Speaker 2:

When we're making changes, it's like we want to steal second with our foot on first right Like we're comfortable here, we're safe here. You know first base is safe. I'm still playing the game. You know I'm still here. To use my baseball analogy, I'm still in the game, I'm still part of the game, I'm still winning because I haven't gotten out yet and if I run to second also run the risk of advancing the runner and scoring a run. And so I love just if we can find analogies and stories to be like oh yeah, this is what I'm doing and this is this really safe happy place on first, where I'm still playing the game and I'm still part of it and there's a lot of comfort in that again, in that wiring and being really wired for comfort and predictability, and when we can see that that is again just a program, that's running and not who we really are.

Speaker 1:

And again, if you can find an analogy or story to tell yourself, it kind of helps you push through it.

Speaker 1:

I love that baseball analogy because actually I feel like I'm on that right now because I keep, I keep my toe on first base and I know I need to run the second base.

Speaker 1:

And the potentially interesting thing for me is when I started this business I was, I think, 24, I think 23 or 24. I wasn't very old relatively speaking, but at that point in time I wasn't afraid of change because my whole life was so changing, ever changing with my childhood. But now that I'm a more of an adult than I was, then you know I really have a heart and I've had a stable life the past 27 years with my husband and our family and stuff. It's harder for me to make change now because I've had such a stable life for the past 20 some years. I've been having to remind myself go back to that childhood, go back to when you weren't afraid to make those changes and you weren't afraid to take those risks. And so I love how you put all that together as like we need to find the inner child that's not afraid to make, to try the new thing and to try to do the changes.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I love. I love bringing it back to the curiosity part too, because yeah, that's, that's kind of how I figured out. Some of my hangups is, I would try to be curious about well, why did I used to not have this problem? Why did I used to be able to just jump right in and try something new?

Speaker 2:

And I do think there's something to be said that like there's something that happens when we age, and I don't know if it's the distance from the inner child or what, where. Now we just become more and more resistant and like I see it in my parents you know where I'm like holy cow, like you know. To use just like a vacation example, like we used to, you know, we vacation as a family with my parents and my family and my sister and her family, and you know my parents used to just go for the with the flow and these days, like they just don't, you know, and it's like oh, wow. And so for me, I'm also really mindful of like I don't. We're all going to age, right, we can't stop it.

Speaker 2:

But how can I constantly be curious and questioning and learning about myself so that I don't become that curmudgeoning old lady who can't handle? You know the plan not being perfect all of the time, but I do agree that the older we get, the scarier and scarier change becomes, unless we really learn how our body is and our brain is firing and then we can be curious instead of just like. This is the way I'm built, you know, because so many people do that. This is just the way that it is and it's like it doesn't have to be if you're open to again being curious, really understanding what's happening physiologically in your body when you try to do something different, and then you know, just being really graceful with yourself as you try to grow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. All right, so then let's how about the next step? How do you know that you're making the right decision? You know the decision's scary. You're, you're, you're being curious about it, like you advise, but how do you know you're making the right decision?

Speaker 2:

I. So how do you know you're making the right decision? One of the my favorite thoughts and stories that I have adopted that has been so helpful for me is it's just a decision. There is no right or there is no wrong, it is just a decision. And when we can stop making a right decision, a decision right or wrong, and it's like I'm just making a decision to go in this direction, again it takes off some of that expectation because the pressure to make the right decision feels like a ton of pressure. Right, we're not carried, you've got to make this decision.

Speaker 2:

Like it's just business, it's not that serious. If you make a decision and it doesn't align and it doesn't feel good, you can make another one. Right, like we are not, it is not life or death, and sometimes it feels that way right, like we're so tied to that identity. And sometimes it's wrapped up in financial security and it's wrapped up in a lot of, again, security and freedom and things that we associate business with. So for me, first of all, it's like we don't even with, like my kids, like we don't do right or wrong. Right, like I ask my children sometimes like, are you making a good choice or is that choice getting you closer to where you want to go? Those are the filter that I use with them Because, again, I don't want them to obsess over right decisions and wrong decisions. It's like, well, does that decision get you closer to where you want to go? But ultimately, as I would advise my children and I advise my clients is how does the decision feel when you think of a life? Say, for instance, you want to make a major pivot in the business, and initially that feels scary, right, you're like, oh my gosh, right, our identity gets questioned and all the drama comes up. And then it's like imagine if, imagine if this is what your business looks like 12 months from now. And imagine you're doing this and imagine this is what's happening and this is how your time is spent, this is how your days are spent. How does that feel? And the feeling in your body, if you're really mindful, will tell you whether or not you're on the right track. Right, if you're feeling a lot of resistance, a lot of pressure, some of that heaviness that Carrie and I talked about earlier, then it's like, again, an opportunity to go back to the drawing board.

Speaker 2:

But when it starts to feel light and exciting and fun and for me it is like for those of you not watching on the video like I have my hands on my chest right, like I can feel this feels lighter, like my heart feels open. I feel excited and optimistic about it, not this really heavy drama that we get into so oftentimes. It is just really checking in with yourself when you envision what my life looks like 12 months down the road after making the shift or this pivot in my business. What feelings come up for me and where do I feel those in my body. And really leaning into that and this is something that you know I was not taught and my guess is that you weren't either.

Speaker 2:

You know we were taught to make decisions very logically right, like make pros and cons right, like here are the pros of making the shift and here are the cons. And I'm bringing this up very specifically because oftentimes some of the decisions that we want to make and changes and pivots we want to make in our business, they're not logical ones, right. They don't logically make sense. When you have a business that's making money and you're doing well, it oftentimes isn't logical to change. But that doesn't mean that that's not the path for you. It just means that sometimes things aren't logical, which is why I really advise checking in with your body, checking in with how it feels, seeing if you can hold the vision of if I make this change. And I'm not saying, don't make a pros and cons list, but sometimes we can logic ourselves into staying stuck Because, again, our brain is wired for safety in that way. So for me I'm always like okay, yes, pros and cons, we've got to look at the logic. But ultimately I've learned and this is a lot of the pivot I've made is to trust my body. Like my body will tell me, I will know.

Speaker 2:

And again, sometimes it's your shoulders and your ears, right, like, feel it when you talk about it. Like, do you have or is your body tense? You know, are you holding yourself really tight? Is there pressure in your chest? Some people will feel like we hold a lot of emotion, especially women's. We have a lot of emotion in our hips, you know, like, do we feel really stiff? Like those things are all ways that your body is talking to you. We just weren't trained to listen to them. In fact, we were just straight chain to ignore them, if I'm fully honest.

Speaker 2:

But your body is usually telling you whether or not you're on the right track and so really focusing on how does this feel in my body? Versus is this a logical decision? Because to me, we can logic our way in whatever direction we really want. If we really sit there with our pros and cons list but the body is not, is not, doesn't care about your pros and cons list, right, it doesn't care about. This is logically not the smartest decision I've ever made, but it is super excited and it feels so light and engaged and if we learn to follow that feeling, follow the feelings of this was exciting, this feels good, I feel optimistic, I feel empowered, I feel like this is the thing that's been missing in my life. Those really powerful positive feelings typically mean you're on the right path. If you are, you know there's a lot of drama and a lot of heaviness and a lot of fear and you can, like I said, for me, my thing is like when my shoulders are in my ears, like when I'm up here, and like really tight, like I know something's off, you know versus if I can sit here really casually and relax my body. So different ways.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes I recommend to people like go for a walk, you know, get really loose, like, connect with nature and really like again. Get that visual in your head of 12 months down the road and see how it feels. And this is something that's a practice. In the beginning it may not. If you've never really tuned into your body to make decisions. It can feel a little foreign at first. You're like what am I feeling? You know, but the more you practice this, the faster it will happen and the more you will be aware of it. And what I have learned is to really follow those. When it feels good, when it feels light, when it feels exciting, um, you know, that's like a, that's a, that's a green light. You know, when it feels heavy, when I feel tense, when I feel, um, a lot of resistance, that's typically like a yellow or a red light when it comes to making a change.

Speaker 1:

Uh, yeah, I can totally relate to that because I have found in over almost 22 years of business that when I followed my body, or what I call my gut, like then I've made the I tend to make the right decision, probably about 98% of the time, and if I go against it in a week to a month or so, I'll later find out that was really not the right decision because I wasn't listening to myself, I wasn't listening to my gut, and I can totally relate to the body and I love how you described like feeling like just your shoulders and your hips and like the tension in your head and just you know where's your brain space at the moment. You know really listening to your body. I think that's really important. A lot of entrepreneurs and online business owners don't know that and aren't trained to do that, so that's a really good point, like relax your jaw.

Speaker 2:

You know, like, as you're are you holding, cause again some people will clench teeth and different things like that. It's one of the things I noticed, like, when I do try to like sit and get really still and relaxed in my body, it's always my jaw is the last thing that I'm like holding onto and I just like let your mouth just kind of pop open and just like a really natural space. But yeah, it's, it's definitely a practice. It's not something, carrie, I was taught in any way shape or form, but yeah, the more that I do it and the more that I practice it, yeah, and it's, it's almost always right. You know, I'd love to ask you a question, like in the times where you did not follow your gut, what were you following?

Speaker 1:

Logic too much? Yep, logic, yeah. What? Yeah? What seemed to make the most sense logically? Honestly, it really was, even though my gut was saying that's not the most logical that's not the right way. It was logic I was following and logic, and in fear of change, probably yep, yep thanks for sharing.

Speaker 2:

I was just curious because, again, that's always been thing right, the thing that made the most sense, or what I see a lot of people do and I've certainly done. This is the way that other people are doing things right, like sometimes your gut and your you know body will tell you to try something different, but then it's a logic thing, right really. But everybody else is doing it this way, so this must be the right way or this must be what's working. And again you kind of override yourself because it's different and it's nuanced and it's not. It doesn't look the same way everything else does. So yeah, I personally experienced that a lot where I've had an idea or a direction and I'm like how come nobody else is doing this or how come everybody else is doing it that way, and just kind of again that wanting to fit in and somebody else not trusting yourself, somebody else must know better. I've had a lot of that come up over the years.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and I've actually fallen into that trap, honestly, the past like six or so months, and I'm like I finally had somebody give me permission They'd not that they needed to but to look at it differently and be like, well, this is why I'm having such resistance in this. This is not what I'm supposed to do, this is what some people are supposed to do, but not how I'm supposed to do it, and it was related to marketing. It's not the way I marketed before. It was against my nature. I tried it. Good for me for trying it, but good for me also for realizing okay, this isn't, this really isn't me, and I need to go back, not necessarily to my old ways, but to the way I was used to, with a fresh, new set of eyes.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, good for you.

Speaker 1:

All right, so then let's follow wrap up with our last question here. So how do you handle judgment from other people when making big shifts? Because I know this is something that holds me back sometimes and honestly, it was something that held me back from creating this podcast over a year ago was why would I think this, but why felt like I might be judged for creating a podcast Like it was in my mind and I still distinctly remember this and I finally was like I don't care, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm called to do it. This is what I'm going to do. So how do you handle judgment from other people when you make big shifts like this?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So the question I always I always push back to my clients when they, when they bring this up is like, if the person is not like paying your mortgage or your business partner, their opinion doesn't matter, right? Because so often the people's judgment that we are afraid of are not often the people closest to us. Sometimes I have certainly had circumstances where people are like afraid that their spouse or somebody is going to judge them, but for most of us the judgment is from people outside of our homes, people outside of our direct sphere of influence, very, very often. So usually for me it's that whole concept of you know, if that person doesn't have a direct like, they don't have a dog in the fight, to use that term, then their opinion doesn't actually matter. And the number of people that have been like holy cow, like I had no idea that I was giving these people that had like so much power. So that's kind of the first thing. And then the second one is kind of the, the so what you know like.

Speaker 2:

So what if somebody judges you? You know like what is the worst thing that happens? They tell you your idea is stupid. They tell you that's not the right way to do things Like this goes back to again the curiosity of a child, like sticks and stones may break my bones, right, like, but words will never hurt me, like I just genuinely don't care what you think and I know that that is so blase, and sometimes we feel insensitive when we say that but again, it's like if we, if we took a poll of all the people around us before we did anything, we would do nothing, right, because there's no way everybody's going to agree on what direction we take.

Speaker 2:

And then, you know, for me, I often find that the world is a mirror, and so whatever fear of judgment we have is very often inside of us in some way, right? So, like, I'm afraid that people are going to think this is stupid, like, okay, where do I think this is stupid, you know? Like, where am I judging myself? Um, because typically, you know, that's our way of staying safe, like we don't call ourselves stupid. We'll let somebody else think that we're stupid, you know. And so that's really very much been a big tool for me. Whenever I find myself in a situation where I'm afraid of judgment, it's like where am I holding this judgment? In some way, you know what? Where does this align with me in some way Like what am I? Where? Am I not being fully honest with myself or fully trusting myself? And again, a lot of stuff will come up when you're like oh yeah, no, I am afraid of making the wrong choice, I am afraid of this and this and this, but it's usually not other people.

Speaker 2:

And ultimately, for me, the final piece of this for me, when it comes to judgment, is judgment says so much more about the other person than it does of me. Right, like I think it's the Brene Brown quote right, like you can't like if they're not in the arena with you. You know what I'm saying. I, I'm butchering it, I know, but I think of her often when it's like if they're not fighting the fight, they're not playing the game. Like they don't get a say like so often again that there's that whole quote of like nobody doing better than you will ever judge you for what you're doing. Right, they'll never tell you you're doing it wrong and I remember that.

Speaker 2:

Right, when people get into judgment or they are judging me, it says more about where they're at and their story and what's going on with them and their own insecurities. Like imagine going through the world just judging people for chasing their dreams, like typically that's not a really happy, healthy person. I mean, I don't want to. You know I never want to do like the all and always, you know, cause that's not always true, right, but typically I'm like if somebody who you know is is that's their way that they move through their world, like that's their choice and they are welcome to do that, it doesn't have anything to do, it doesn't have to have anything to do with me.

Speaker 2:

And I found my clients just feel so empowered by that idea of that person's judgment of me says so little about me and so much more about them. And then we can again, we can get into compassion, we can get into compassion, we can get into curiosity, we can get into, you know, empathy and those are just way more powerful places to make decisions than a place of fear. So all of those things combined kind of help us move through. Like again it starts with does this person pay my mortgage or are they like, do they have a dog in the fight in the business? You know, again, where is this judgment alive in me some way. And you know again where is this judgment alive in me some way. And you know what somebody else is going to say about me is way bigger reflection of who are who they are. That of who I am usually will help people move through that fear of judgment pretty quickly.

Speaker 1:

I think those are some really great steps because I feel like many of us will recognize one of those steps on realizing the judgment, but they may not look at all three aspects of where the judgment's coming from. So I think that's a really good point to leave with us is, you know, really look at all three of those aspects and you're going to feel lighter and happier by doing that and you're going to feel better about yourself, I feel like and more confident in your decisions when you do that.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent and I work with a lot of people. The reason that this is such a big one for me is I work with a lot of people who are showing up online as part of what they do right, they're online entrepreneurs and they're afraid to like really truly be self-expressed in that way online. And again, that typically comes from that fear of judgment. And then we work through that and again it comes from the I'm afraid of looking silly. You know, I have judged other people who for showing up in that way and again, when we can move through that and we can see that, then people start showing up and they start being more powerful and they're more excited about what they do and they're more excited about their offers and naturally, you know their business increases and their life increases and you know things get better. So you know, that's usually the lens that I see it in is just like I'm afraid of being judged by the people on the interwebs and I'm like get again, they're not in your house, they're on the internet and not in your home. They don't get a vote. And you know, the final thought that I will leave you with is this idea of like give yourself grace, like we are not, at least for me. I can only speak for myself.

Speaker 2:

I was not given these tools growing up. These are tools I learned on my own, you know, in the last six or seven years as an entrepreneur. Some of them just innately came to me. I was a sales, I was in sales, I was a sales trainer, like I, I knew people and human psychology in some ways, but this really, um, you know, this way of making decisions and really learning to trust ourselves and how our brain is wired and all those things are things that I learned as an adult, and so so many of these things were not processes. I was taught when I was, you know, when I was a child or even when I was a young adult, making career decisions, like again, it was taught to like make a pros and cons list and logically make a choice.

Speaker 2:

And so the one thing I will say, because so many people will find, you know, they'll find the root of whatever their fear of judgment is, and then they feel silly or they feel stupid because it's something really inconsequential. But what I will advise you is just give yourself as much like compassion and, you know, grace as you can Cause if you weren't taught these things, like this might be new information from somebody listening here today, or information maybe they've heard in a different way and maybe not delivered this way and really the ability to be really kind to yourself as you learn a new way to move through the world. Because, again, I think I learned these things and I instantly went to like, well, why didn't I know this sooner? And almost like this judgment of myself, like there was something wrong with me and it was like because nobody had these tools, or at least the home.

Speaker 2:

I grew up when these tools were not used. And again, not no judgment on my parents either Right, they did the best they could with what they had and I still have an excellent relationship with my parents as an adult but these weren't tools they were taught. So just this, this compassion and grace, I think is really important in all of the things we talked about today.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love leaving it with the compassion and grace, because that's what we really need to have with ourselves and with others as online business owners and entrepreneurs. It's really the key to staying happy and staying focused. Amen, just having that Totally agree.

Speaker 1:

This was such a great talk with you, ryan. So if somebody wants to find more information about you, what's the best way for them to find more about you? We will link to a lot of things in our show notes. So if you're listening on the podcast, you can always go to the ecommercemadeeasypodcastcom website and search for Ryan, and you can find her show notes there. But why don't you go and tell us the best way to connect with you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so social media is always the best direct way to connect with you. Yeah, so social media is always the best, like direct way to stay in touch. So you can find me, I'm Ryan, with two N's Dowdy, on all the social channels. It's always a great place to hang out. Um, you can also go to soulchargecom forward slash go, um has some information about soul charge and the company I work for. But for me personally, um, you know, reaching out directly on social media as as with the topic of pivot, this is a new ish one for me, so we don't have all the parts and pieces established just yet. So, um, I spend most of my time hanging out on social media. I love when people connect with me and, uh, you know, send me a message, reach out. You know I'm I'd love to network and meet new people, so that's the best way.

Speaker 1:

Well, thank you so much, Ryan, for being on our podcast, and I've learned so much from you today. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

Awesome, Keri. Thanks for the time.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. Wasn't that such an amazing discussion with Ryan? I know it has helped me really reflect and refine my mindset around my business, especially with the pivots we've been making the past several years. Be sure to visit our show notes wherever you're listening, or you can go to our podcast website at ecommercemadeeasypodcastcom to find out more about Ryan. If you're watching on the YouTube channel, make sure you hit that subscribe button, and if you're listening on the podcast, hit that follow button wherever you're listening. If you're loving my e-commerce made easy podcast, I'd be thrilled if you could rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Your readings and reviews help me reach more listeners and empower more people like you to thrive in the online business world. Thank you again for listening and we will see you next week.